My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
