u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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