I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
