yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize