i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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