Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
