I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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