I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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