You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
