eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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