Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
