I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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