i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Everyone says I win the strip club
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
