At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
