you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
