true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
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