we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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