i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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