if only i could text you this smell
high people should be assigned attendants
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
