She is in my trunk
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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