Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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