You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
