So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
