Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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