i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
