He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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