Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
This is my gift to your gina
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
