Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
