Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
