Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
