mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
