I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize