I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
