no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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