Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
