Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we're making bets on your personal life
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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