After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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