WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
