don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
