The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
where am i from again
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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