I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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