they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize