Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
