who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
