its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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