I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
