It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
