real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize