my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
