I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
