My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize