I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
