omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
