"it" just moved
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Randomize
