Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
