did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
