My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
