i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so that wasnt chicken after all
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
