he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
