dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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