Midget sex pt 2 tonight
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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