Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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