I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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