Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
