in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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