drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
