every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize