i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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