cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
