Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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