He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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