i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
