I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
well you can't waste a boner
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
