I just pynch a tree in the face
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
