I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
