Im at strip club and am horny
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
