I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
