thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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