I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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