Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
