At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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